Ana Arcos Solari

Many of us are far kinder to the people we love than we are to ourselves. We comfort a friend when they make a mistake, reassure a family member who is struggling, and offer patience when someone is doing their best under difficult circumstances. Yet when we experience failure, disappointment, stress or emotional pain, our inner voice can quickly become harsh and critical. “You should have handled that better.” “What’s wrong with you?” “You’re not doing enough.” This constant self-criticism...

Sometimes we know exactly what we want to change, yet we find ourselves repeating the same emotional reactions, behaviours and relationship patterns. We promise ourselves that this time will be different. But then something happens. Someone says something that triggers us. We feel rejected, criticised, ignored or misunderstood. We become anxious. We withdraw. We become angry. We try to please. We overthink. We seek reassurance. We say yes when we really want to say no. And afterwards, we may...

One Emotion Can Change More Than You Think You have an argument with your partner in the morning. You spend the next few hours thinking about it. By lunchtime, you're distracted. At work, someone asks you a simple question and you respond more sharply than you intended. Then you feel guilty about that. On the way home, you're thinking about work. When you arrive home, you're tired. Someone asks you what's wrong. "Nothing." But there is something. And now the original argument isn't just an...