Ana Arcos Solari

Have you ever promised yourself that next time you would react differently, only to find yourself doing exactly the same thing again? Perhaps you promised yourself you would stop worrying about what other people think. You would finally say no without feeling guilty. You would stop overthinking every conversation, replaying past mistakes, or imagining everything that could go wrong. And yet, when the moment comes, something familiar takes over. You say yes when you want to say no. You stay...

Many of us are far kinder to the people we love than we are to ourselves. We comfort a friend when they make a mistake, reassure a family member who is struggling, and offer patience when someone is doing their best under difficult circumstances. Yet when we experience failure, disappointment, stress or emotional pain, our inner voice can quickly become harsh and critical. “You should have handled that better.” “What’s wrong with you?” “You’re not doing enough.” This constant self-criticism...

Sometimes we know exactly what we want to change, yet we find ourselves repeating the same emotional reactions, behaviours and relationship patterns. We promise ourselves that this time will be different. But then something happens. Someone says something that triggers us. We feel rejected, criticised, ignored or misunderstood. We become anxious. We withdraw. We become angry. We try to please. We overthink. We seek reassurance. We say yes when we really want to say no. And afterwards, we may...